My Mind is Numb

Image Credit

This whole week has felt like a blur & emotionally I'm drained. A couple of days ago my family lost a pet in the most traumatic way. He was a foster, and we were searching for his forever home. On one of the coldest nights last winter he found his way to my parents home, and he offered them so much joy and light. He had a piece of all of our hearts and had become a member of our family. To see him gone-- so unexpectedly just made death that much more real. I have been an emotional wreck, crying throughout random moments of the day. Then I started to think of our family friend Vicky, who passed away in December from pancreatic cancer and I just lost it. I had never really taken the time to grieve for her. I cried at her funeral, but I forced myself to shut down my emotions afterward. I didn't want to feel like a burden to anyone else. Losing someone so kind and sweet in such a slow way seems so unfair. But the truth is, death is cruel. It's traumatic. & sympathetic words don't make it any less painful.

I know there are many people who find comfort in the idea of heaven. As a child, I did. I think death and the after life become more complex subjects as you grow older. Because really who can be sure about what lies ahead? I have so many questions, so many doubts-- not about my faith but about life in general. Why are good people always going through the most difficult trials? Why are they not honored and remembered like celebrities?  Why is there so much injustice in this world? My heart hurts just thinking about it. I hope that in due time my grieving heart fully heals.

For anyone struggling with the concept of death, I wanted to share this beautiful quote by C.S. Lewis that has been comforting to repeat: "You don't have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body."

8 Things We Learned From the HouseHunting Process

Image Source: Here

1. Have a Thorough Home Inspection. 
I know this point seems obvious, but hear me out. When Marc and I put in our offer for our home, we were so eager to move in quickly that we trusted the home inspection done by our home insurance company--don't make the same mistake. Our In-Laws had suggested that a close family friend who specializes in home repairs come look the place with us. We now wish we had taken their advice, because soon after we moved in we realized our furnace was over 20 years old and it needed to be replaced. When we contacted our home insurance company, they refused to cover the complete cost. The total estimate for replacing the furnace was over 3,000 and considering this was an unexpected bill, it stressed us out quite a bit. Very quickly we also realized our new dishwasher wasn't working, and although we have home insurance, the company didn't cover the service fee for the repair man. Looking back, this all could've been avoided, if we had brought someone knowledgeable in home repairs to come tour the house with us.

2. Get to Know Your Neighbors & The Neighborhood
Marc and I usually went house hunting on Sunday Mornings. This made every neighborhood we looked at seem very peaceful and quiet. I would suggest going to the neighborhood and house you visit in the evening, so you can get a feel for the daily routine of it. We were lucky that our neighborhood for the most part is pretty quiet and our neighbors are friendly. That being said, the dogs next door are not. When we toured the house, we never even heard the noisy dogs in our next door neighbors yard. This has gotten more annoying as of lately, because I have 3 dogs who love to relax in our yard, and as soon as I let them out the two huge Basenji dogs next door thump on the fence and bark so viciously they scare mine to death. Not to mention, they keep digging holes underneath the fence, and one has gotten out of our neighbors yard once. I spoke to my neighbor about it, and they haven't gotten out since but they still bark up a storm. I'm guessing it's because they have so much energy & are never taken out on walks, so I can't blame it on the dogs.

3. Don't Buy a Fixer Upper if You Don't Have Time in Your Schedule to DIY Projects
Several of the homes we looked at were fixer uppers, but we passed on them quickly. With Marc's work schedule and my inability to DIY anything we didn't want to take on any major projects. The most we will probably do to our home is add an island to our kitchen and do some small paint jobs. This will save us time, money and stress. That said, if you are skilled person in DIY projects, go for it! I'll stick to watching home renovations on HGTV :)

4. Buy a Home When You are Ready & Don't Compromise What You Want
There seems to be alot of opinions from other people on how you should live your life. The standard timeline is usually engagement, marriage, house, baby etc. That being said, learn to listen to your heart and follow your own path. If you and your loved one aren't in a rush to buy a house, don't get one. If you aren't financially ready, don't take on a mortgage  If you plan to travel a bit, before settling down, don't give in to pressure from family and friends to follow their path. Do what feels right to you. Only you and your loved one know where you both stand financially and the plans you have for your future. When Marc and I were newlyweds, there was alot of pressure from both our parents to purchase a house immediately, but I'm so glad we waited. Our first 2 years as newlyweds we spent them in a small 1 bedroom apartment and we were able to learn so much from that experience. Those two years we spent saving money & researching what features we wanted in home, for example: high ceilings, a large backyard, a fireplace, an open living room, and at least 3 bedrooms.  This helped our house hunting process speed up because unless most of the items were checked off on our list, we didn't bother looking at the house. Sure, it can be frustrating in the beginning because you begin to think your expectations are too high, but do not compromise what you want. Your home is one of the biggest investments, so make sure you get most of the items on your wishlist.

5. Keep Close to Your Budget 
Our realtor made it real clear to caution us to stay within our budget. Don't bother distracting yourself with a home you can't afford. Instead look at the available potential in your price range. There were so many bigger and fancier homes we could've opted for, but we would've had a hard time making those payments. By staying within our budget we were able to relax and enjoy our house hunting tours. 

6. Don't Give into Pushy Salesman
Immediately after you move into a home, you will be receiving alot of calls from people offering you the most innovative products for your home, learn to say no. I admit that in the beginning, I sort of fell into the trap thinking we needed so and so for our home, when in reality we didn't. Invest on items that are absolutely necessary, but stick to your budget. & don't agree to a service just because of a pushy salesman.

7. Take Advantage of Living Social/Groupon Deals to Save Some Money
I had never used groupon until we bought a home. I discovered the Home & Auto Feature, and was able to save us alot of money through service discounts I found on there. I got deals on a carpet cleaning for several rooms, pest control service, and even cleaning services.Just make sure that before buying a deal through groupon/living social to do research on the company offering the deal. You want to be confident the company has good reviews and great customer service.

8. Make a Virtual Plan For Each Room Before Beginning to Buy Home Decor
It can be very easy to overspend or buy unnecessary items, if you don't have a virtual floor plan of how you plan to decorate each room. You also want to avoid having a cluttered garage full of items you don't need, so having an idea of how you plan to decorate and furnish each room is important. If you want to save money, Lowes and Urban Barn have free online room planners you can use that can be of great help. For something more custom to your needs, contact my friend Michaela, she has a great eye and aesthetic for beautiful design. The important thing is to have a good floor plan before you start making a list of which items you need to purchase.

For now, this is all the advice I can think of.

 I hope it can be helpful to potential home buyers & please feel free to share what hurdles you've learned and overcome in the house hunting process :)

And My School Semester Begins...

Image Credit I'm really excited for my classes this semester. It's my first time taking flex courses, which means they will be going at a much faster pace with twice the amount of information. One of my classes is a night class and while I'm not thrilled about getting home at 10pm twice a week, I'm so excited to be able to attend school this semester. 
I've had a really hard time coming to terms with the uncertainty concerning my graduation date. I've spoken about it before, but since I'm having to pay for my college classes I can't project a graduation date. What is keeping me positive is that I'm in the middle of applying to a different university with more majors & scholarship and  opportunities. The advisor and campus all seem promising, but I will have to wait a bit to see if it will all work out :) Please keep your fingers crossed for me!
Happy Monday! I'm now off to re-write my notes...